Houdini’s Guide to Escaping: A Boring Office Meeting
As a master escape artist, I am particularly adept at engaging and entertaining my audience. While this is one of the first skills that an aspiring magician must master, it is often sorely lacking in the corporate world.
If you’ve ever been subjected to the drudgery of a seemingly eternal meeting, you’ve probably thought about how you could get out of such an undesirable scenario. Take heart–I now offer you some handy tips to help you escape a mind-numbing office meeting while keeping your sanity intact.
1. Practice strategic seating.
In magic as well as in life, how you start will often determine how you finish. Learn the value of choosing a strategically placed seat near the door, so that you can set yourself up to make a smooth exit without having to make a scene when the time comes. Even if you’re not exactly sure how you’re going to escape the meeting yet, you will put yourself in a most fortuitous position by selecting a seat that offers the clearest route to escape.
2. Ask questions to determine the meeting’s relevance to your position.
Too many times people find themselves in meetings that have nothing to do with their current position. If you are responsible for the manufacturing of red doodads, you should not be brought into a meeting that is mainly focused on blue doodads. Ask the facilitator if any of the points on the agenda will deal directly with your area. If not, ask for permission to exit the meeting posthaste.
3. Use your modern contraption, the “smartphone,” to send a pseudo-emergency phone call to yourself.
While I do not claim to fully understand the mystical workings of the smartphone, I do know that there are items known as “applications” that can enable you to send a decoy telephone call to yourself in order to feign an urgent situation that needs your immediate attention. Use this magical tool to your advantage in order to give you a reason to step outside of the meeting to answer your intelligent telephone. If you followed my very first tip, you should be near the door already, which will enable you to accomplish this with the ease of a skilled illusionist.
4. Speed up the agenda.
Most magicians utilize the art of misdirection to their advantage; you can use this same skill by requesting a copy of the agenda, and then subtly speeding along the progress of the meeting by asking about the next point on the agenda before too many discussions can blossom from the previous point. Not only will this serve as a poignant hint that it’s time to move on to the next item, but it can accelerate the overall speed of the meeting by leaps and bounds.
5. Suggest that the meeting be held in a location more conducive to both productivity and adventure.
If the meeting is being held in a drab, uninspiring locale, it can hinder the free exercise of ideas. Why not choose Houdini’s Room Escape for your next meeting, as it offers attendees a chance to not only experience the thrill of an escape room adventure, but also to engage in productive business discussions?
After spending an exhilarating hour racing against time in the escape room, your group can then transition into the meeting room to take care of official business. Since your group’s creative muscles will have been sufficiently flexed by the escape room challenge, they will be better able to contribute towards a more creative and lively discussion.
Knowing how to escape a most boring and deleterious office meeting requires a robust amount of creativity and problem-solving skills, not unlike what is required to escape my infamous Game Room. Mastering the art of inventive escape can save you much time and mental energy, which can then be put to more productive uses (such as practicing magic tricks). The next time you’re faced with a precarious situation such as this, be sure to keep my tips in mind in order to save yourself from this most oppressive form of human-assisted boredom.