Houdini’s Guide to Escaping: An Awkward First Date
Hello, good friend! Houdini here. As you’re probably well aware, I’ve made a name for myself by escaping some of the most precarious predicaments imaginable, so I’m somewhat of an expert when it comes to getting out of tight situations. But I’m not here today talk to you about how to free yourself from being suspended upside-down in a water tank with shackles around your ankles; no, I want to focus on something a little more commonplace, but perhaps equally as troubling: The awkward first date.
How can you gracefully escape this infamously unsettling situation without going so far as to bolt out of a rear door on a feigned trip to the restroom? Read on to discover some reliable exit strategies from the mind of a master escape artist.
- Ask plenty of questions to pass the time.
If you already know that there is very little chemistry between you and your date, you can at least ask plenty of questions to somewhat help the time go by a little faster. Whether or not you are interested in their responses is only marginally important; your main objective is to find a way to alleviate as many awkward silences as possible while you’re buying time until the date ends.
Ask your date about where they’re from, what their hobbies are (magic is a plus), where their family lives, what line of work they’re in, etc. Although this is somewhat of a maintenance tactic, on occasion you may find that the conversation turns into something interesting. If that’s the case, so much the better!
- Ask for the check (as early as possible).
If you choose to go to a restaurant for your first date, asking for the check early will send a clear message that the night needs to be drawn to a close quickly in order to minimize any further pain and suffering. No matter what previous payment arrangements were made, you can still feel empowered to be the one who asks for the check. Let no doubtful thoughts dissuade you in this matter.
- Change the scenery.
Many times a date goes sour because the participants are like two fish out of water in their surroundings. Try switching locations by mutual consent, and you may find that the date will begin to go a lot smoother. To liven up the evening, you might want to consider taking your date to Houdini’s Room Escape (the premier Cincinnati escape room). See if you can put your heads together to escape my gaming parlour!
- Enlist the help of a friend.
Your smartphone carries a certain degree of magic all on its own, and one of the ways you can use this delightful device to help you escape an awkward date is to arrange for a friend to phone you halfway through the night. If the date has gone horribly up to that point, you can use your friend’s call as your escape mechanism to exit the date gracefully. Simply state that an important matter has emerged that requires your immediate attention, and politely proceed to say your goodbyes. Little does your date know that the “important matter” you were referring to is the necessity of escaping the night’s activities!
- Request a redux.
It could very well be that your date is not the insufferable buffoon they appear to be; they may just be terribly nervous. To give this potential partner a fair shot, try politely cutting the current date short and asking them for a redux. It may very well be that a fresh start can change your perspective entirely.
I’ve made my living by getting out of uncomfortable situations, so I believe I have some authority to speak about this somewhat troubling subject. Keep my advice in mind if you experience an awkward first date in the future, and hopefully you’ll be able to escape without a hitch.